Rewards of Generosity

They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor,
their righteousness endures forever;
their dignity will be lifted high in honor.
Psalm 112:9

There is something very surprising about generosity; it makes people feel better to give money away than to earn money. In a 2017 study performed at UC Berkeley, volunteer test subjects were connected to brain scanners and the particular area of the brain that factored risk and reward was emphasized. These test subjects were offered real money and given the option to have the money wired directly to their bank account or donated to the charity of their choice. Not surprisingly, the test subjects who had the money wired to their own bank accounts felt moderately rewarded. Interestingly though, the test subjects who had the money donated to a charity of their choice felt even a greater sense or reward and satisfaction. 

A point of distinction must be made; all of these test subjects were socioeconomically between lower-middle and upper-middle class. This meant that as long as people had enough money to live comfortably, any extra money beyond their relative need did not make much impact in the quality of their lives. The ways where people can experience true reward and satisfaction was in altruism and generosity. But the thing is, generosity needs to be habitual. We cannot give to charity or church once a year and think that will leave feeling fulfilled.

So the next time you feel empty, unrewarded, or unsatisfied with life, ask yourself, “When was the last time I gave?”

Small Groups Are Safe, Easy, & Fun

“For where two or more are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
Matthew 18:20

Have you ever been in a faith-based small group before? Well, I have been in many at various different places. They have ranged from intensive bible studies, therapy based support groups, and curriculum-based groups with ‘homework.’ After reflecting upon my own experience and discussing it with our Leadership Team members, we realized that we want Perch Small Groups to be simple. 

We believe small groups should be SAFE, EASY, & FUN.

Safe means that everyone can come as they are. No judgments allowed and pretenses are discouraged. Even cussing is okay.

Easy means that there will be no homework, no difficult questions, and no religious knowledge required. 

Fun means that conversations are engaging, relevant, and helpful. Our discussions are designed to be theme-based, open-ended, and explore and inspire healthy spirituality.

When a small group can embody all three of these traits, it creates a healthy culture to foster unforced spiritual maturity.

Public Health Crisis Nobody Talks About

“For where two or more are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
Matthew 18:20

Professor of Epidemiology and Public Health at Harvard University Dr. Tyler J. Vanderweele recently wrote an article on the importance of corporate worship. You might already know that faith communities offer moral guidance, provide network of supportive relationships, and encourage a lifestyle of altruism. However, there are numerous health benefits including 33% reduced risk of drug use among adolescents, 50% reduced risk of divorce, and 84% reduced risk of suicide. 

An important distinction needs to be made; this applies to people who are regular participants in faith communities like churches, mosques, and temple. These stats do not apply to people who simply practice their faith individually or those who identify as “spiritual but not religious.” 

It’s no secret that people have been slow to return to their churches and faith communities. Unfortunately, this can be more detrimental to their spiritual and physical health than they realize. So the next time you or someone you know say something like, “I can be spiritually healthy without being a part of a faith community,” you might want to reconsider.

Conflict & Peace

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.
Matthew 5:9

On Sunday I shared a story of an intense encounter I had with a patient at the hospital while I was working as a chaplain. As soon as the patient was admitted into the hospital, he was cussing and threatening the hospital staff. Clearly, this patient was belligerent with some possible personality disorder. His nurse had asked me to visit the patient to try to calm him down and get some information from him. The patient was still audibly angry and yelling at anyone who came into his room. Nevertheless, I agreed to try to diffuse the situation. When I entered his room, he immediately began cussing at me, but I kept dialoguing with him in a calm manner. To my surprise, he opened up to me and started sharing some of his recent struggles. I was able to get the information the nurse needed to move forward with treating him. After expressing himself, he calmed down and became a bit more cooperative.

This taught me something very valuable about peacemaking; in order for peace to exist, people must occasionally enter into conflict in healthy ways. Peacemaking is very different from peacekeeping. Peacekeeping is akin to pacifism, which is conflict avoidant and ineffective. Peacemaking is resolving conflict in healthy ways through nonviolent active means. Be a peacemaker.

Plans Are Overrated

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”
James 4:13-15

If there’s anything the past 20 months have taught us is that plans are overrated. Right when we started Perch.Church as a house church almost three years ago, Al Han wrote a detailed church plant plan. Can you guess what wasn’t on that plan?

Now we realize what’s required of a new community, we have to treat plans like football plays rather than blueprints. Blueprints need to be exact and followed precisely as designed. Football plays are rough approximations of how we hope the play will go, but we need to be ready for the unexpected.

This is how we’re supposed to approach our relationships, especially those we love. We can have a general direction of how we want our relationships to be, but we also need to leave plenty of space for the unexpected.

“Plans are of little importance, but planning is essential.”
– Winston Churchill

Chaplaincy Is Teaching Me How to Love

You shall give freely, and your heart shall not be grudging when you give, because for this your God will bless you.
Deuteronomy 15:10

How do you love?

It’s a strange question, I know. But it’s an important one and a question that most people rarely ask themselves. Most people subconsciously believe that love is natural and easy, but that is the furthest thing from the truth. What’s natural and easy is selfishness and greed. Love is the opposite of that and love requires a lot of energy, care, and intention.

Over the past year as a chaplain and church planter, I’ve learned a lot of what it means to love. Much of it antithetical to what our culture teaches us about love, so I had to unlearn a lot in order to love better. Our culture teaches us that love happens quickly, but I’m learning that love moves slowly. Our culture teaches us that people “fall in love” like it’s some kind of accident, but I’m learning that love is always deliberate. Our culture teaches us to only love those who love you back, but I’m learning to love without expecting anything in return.

In learning how to love, I’m gradually learning how to live freely.

“Love has nothing to do with what you’re expecting to get, only with what you’re expecting to give, which is everything.”
– Katharine Hepburn

You're A Theologian

All things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
Romans 8:28

Did you know most Americans believe the saying “everything happens for a reason” is from the Bible? But it’s a misinterpretation of the verse written above from the Book of Romans, which actually means “bad things happen to everybody, but God’s people can find a way to turn it into something good.” So when someone I know is going through a really rough time and they say, “everything happens for a reason,” I feel obligated to gently correct them. “No, you did not get cancer ‘for a reason.’" “Your friend didn’t die ‘for a reason.’” This might sound weird, but the people of God don’t need to be happy and delusional all the time. But even in the middle of a crappy situation, we can eventually come around to finding peace. It can take a few days or even a few years. But in the end, we will be ok.

“Eventually you’ll end up where you need to be, with whom you’re meant to be with, and doing what you should be doing. Patience is the key.”
– Unknown Author

Three Stages of Crisis

Examine me, God. Look at my heart. Put me to the test. Know my anxious thoughts.
Psalm 139:23

I read this very interesting article in Harvard Business Review about the Three Stages of a Crisis, which gave me some clarity into why people have been feeling so anxious lately. Basically, the Three Stages of a Crisis are Emergency, Regression, and Recovery. In the state of Emergency, the collective group tends to be laser focused and collaborative for a common goal. If you may remember at the beginning of Covid, almost all businesses shutdown immediately, everyone worked and studied from home, and the streets were empty. In the state of Regression, the group starts to unravel, people lose their sense of purpose and become more hostile towards each other. In the state of Recovery, the group or society begins to heal and rebuild themselves.

The reason why we are so anxious is because we expected to be in Recovery stage by now, but we’re not. We’re still in the Regression stage. This false expectation that we placed on ourselves has left us disappointed, discouraged, or even depressed. People have tried to make drastic changes in their lives in reaction to their inner anxiety, such as changing careers, moving to a different city, or impulsively buying a home. But after the excitement fades, the anxiety has still remained simply waiting to emerge until the dust has settled.

We cannot rely on the surrounding circumstances to give us peace. Peace can only come from a rich spiritual life, deep relationships, and healthy rhythms of life. Instead of looking “out there” to cure your anxiety, look within your soul. As painful as it may be, ask the Holy Spirit to examine you, diagnose you, and heal you.

Do You Gossip, Edify, or Yelp?

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 4:29

How do you know when words spoken about another person are accountability, venting, or gossip? I’ve been obsessively listening to a podcast about a Seattle megachurch pastor who destroyed his church because of his abusive and toxic leadership, and I can’t help but ask myself this question after each episode. I began listening to the podcast because I wanted to learn how to avoid the pitfalls of toxic leadership as a pastor; but I continue listening to the podcast because of all the juicy details that is exposed. 

A conversation can start off as informative or even teachable, but where is the point it turns into gossip? Ephesians 4:29 articulates it beautifully when it encourages God’s people to “not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up.” The word “unwholesome” can also be translated as “corrupt” or “rotten.” And the word “building up” can also be translated as “edifying” or “life giving.” If the talk feels “corrupt” or “unwholesome,” chances are the talk is gossip. But if the talk feels “edifying” or “life giving,” chances are the talk is innocuous or helpful.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good gossip here and there; they’re definitely entertaining. But more times than not, may we engage in more edifying conversations to bring life to the people around us.

Often Misinterpreted Verse

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty… I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:11b-13

Does Philippians 4:13 look familiar to you? “I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.” Perhaps you’ve seen in another way. “I can do all THINGS through Him who gives me strength.” That one word change makes all the difference. When people read this verse with the word ‘things,’ they interpret it as “God gives you the strength to overcome any obstacle.” Many pro athletes have this verse tattooed on their bodies as a way to hype themselves up before a big game or match. But in actuality, this verse does not make much sense without the verses before it. The more accurate word is found in the NIV, which uses the word “THIS,” which is referring to what the verses prior about learning “to be content whatever the circumstances.” 

This is what true JOY looks like; it is not in overcoming obstacles, making more money, or having more fun. Joy comes from a loving spiritual relationship with God and neighbors and living the life He called us to live. If that’s present, we have learned the secret of joy whether we are in plenty or in need.