Solitude vs. Aloneness

After Jesus had dismissed the crowd, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone.
Matthew 14:23

Lately I’ve been spending more time alone. At the end of a long day after visiting dozens of patients at the hospital providing spiritual care as a chaplain, I’ve been appreciating my time of solitude. But occasionally, in the deafening silence of solitude, I can feel moments of loneliness. 

This made me wonder… What’s the difference between solitude and aloneness? Well, according to theologian and author Henri Nouwen, solitude is not truly being alone. Solitude is being in God’s presence. When I forget that I am in God’s presence, I feel lonely; when I remember I am in God’s presence, I am comforted and at peace. 

Seek solitude over aloneness.

Time Does Not Heal All Wounds

The Lord heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Psalm 147:3

You may have heard that old English proverb, “Time heals all wounds.” But is it true? I disagree with this because it’s only partially true. Time, alone, does not heal wounds. There are many people out there who have been hurt from past traumas and have never recovered. As a result of their past pain, they inflict pain on others either intentionally or unintentionally. For example, when someone gets physically hurt, they need to tend to the wound. And the greater the wound, the greater the level of care. If you get a paper cut, you can probably get by with ignoring it. But if break your arm, you need to give it a lot of attention. Same thing goes with our emotional and spiritual wounds; the greater the injury, the more attention it needs. So no, time does not heal all wounds. Time and the work you put into it heals all wounds.

The Shoveling of Suffering

When bad things happen to good people, it’s difficult to grasp our minds around why they are happening. The best thing we can hope for is that, in the end, it’ll all work out. But perhaps there is grace in the pain; realizations, revelations, and reflections being unearth that can only come out through the shoveling of suffering. Although, if we’re not paying attention, those valuable lessons can simply go over our heads if we’re simply waiting for the pain to end.

What is God, life, or your current circumstances shoveling out of you?

"Forgiveness Is the End of Past"

Forgiveness Is the End of Past

Forgiveness is the end of Past.
Conceived ideas begin to form:
An old mind crushing to dust:
The brave survivor of the storm!
As you reach your depths, you find
A wiser human at ease, with pride.

A passing sense of emptiness,
Numb, as old emotions had subsided:
Conclude that life is nothingness,

And Hope arises to bright your side:
In heart, the birth of a new dream,
Shows you the future path fulfilled.

–Mihaela Pirjol

What To Do With Anger

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Ephesians 4:31

Are you a Simpsons fan? Well, I am. One of the funniest and most memorable episodes for me was “Hurricane Neddy” from 1996. It was the episode when the picture-perfect friendly Christian neighbor Ned Flanders just explodes in anger to the whole town of Springfield because he suppressed his anger for too long. I occasionally remember this episode because I never want react the way Ned Flanders did. But how?

Well, just as the passage above said, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger.” I take this quite literally. When we’re feeling powerful emotions like bitterness, rage, and anger, they need to be EXPRESSED or LET OUT. Just because we don’t express anger doesn’t mean we’re not angry. In fact, it’s quite dangerous for us to do so because our anger will leak out in unhealthy and unexpected ways. If we don’t find safe spaces and safe people with whom we can express our anger and other powerful emotions, we may find ourselves saying or doing something we’d regret to the people whom we love the most.

Know Justice, Know Peace

Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Psalm 23:4

Psalm 23 is the passage I read most frequently in the hospital when I provide spiritual care for the patients. At first I read it because it’s a “safe” Bible passage for Jews, Christians, Catholics, Agnostics, and even SBNR’s (spiritual but not religious). Just reading these words out loud gives people comfort and solace in times of physical and emotional pain.

However, the short passage is chock full of imagery, metaphor, and allusion. For example, Psalm 23:4 describes the common journey a shepherd would take his sheep through dark ominous valleys. As long as the shepherd is nearby, the sheep have nothing to fear. And whenever a sheep goes astray, the shepherd gently guides it back to the rest of the flock with his staff.

It feels like we are living in very dark times these days. It often feels like we don’t know where we are going or what dangers lurk beyond our sight. As long as our loving shepherd is nearby, we will fear no evil.

A Poem for Robb Elementary Victims

Jesus called the children to Him and said, “Let the children come to me and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”
Luke 18:16

How do we go on
after the unthinkable happens?
How can we carry the burden of knowing
the world can be cruel and dangerous,
the future so unpredictable?
How do we grieve with empty arms
and a head filled with echoing memories?

We are stronger than we know,
and this is how we show it: 
Holding each other, 
giving comfort in the midst of pain. 
Loving more fiercely, 
through our actions and the things we say.
Making the world just a little bit better, 
every single day. 
Never taking life for granted, 
knowing that it can be snatched away.

This world may bring deep darkness,
but we are the bearers of light.
We’ll join our flames together, 
and shine in the blackest of nights.

–John Mark Green

Are You A Victim of Action Faking?

Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.
1 John 3:18

Are you a victim of “action faking?” We explored this more in depth on Sunday, which you can find here. Action faking is when you feel the illusion of making progress because you read a book, heard a podcast, saw a social media post, or watch a TED talk on progress without actually doing the work of progress. This is increasingly more and more prevalent because of the ease of access to information. When we are informed and inspired to make progress of some kind, be it self-help, fitness goals, or financial success, we get a dopamine hit in our brains. Yet when we start the actual work of progress, we do not feel that dopamine hit. So it’s actually easy to be deceived into feeling like we’re making progress without ever doing the work of progress.

So just because you saw that post on mental health does not mean you’re working on your mental health. Just because you watched that YouTube on fitness does not mean you’re working on getting fit. Just because you heard a message on loving your neighbor does not mean you’re loving your neighbor. The real work happens after the inspiration.

Do You Feel Stuck?

Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
Hebrews 12:1

Lately I’ve been feeling very unsettled. My work situation is unpredictable, I’m living in two different places, relationships come and go, and my understanding of “family” is changing everyday. It’s difficult to feel situated these days when I have so many moving pieces all the time. But I wonder sometimes if this is by design. There are days when I am settled down that I just don’t wanna move or do anything. It’s the days when I’m on the move that I tend to be more productive and actually living out my purpose. Maybe feeling unsettled is not such a bad thing after all. Maybe it just means I’m going from one place to another.

"Blessing For the Traveler"

Every time you leave home,
Another road takes you
Into a world you were never in.

New strangers on other paths await.
New places that have never seen you
Will startle a little at your entry.
Old places that know you well
Will pretend nothing
Changed since your last visit.

When you travel, you find yourself
Alone in a different way,
More attentive now
To the self you bring along,
Your more subtle eye watching
You abroad; and how what meets you
Touches that part of the heart
That lies low at home:

How you unexpectedly attune
To the timbre in some voice,
Opening in conversation
You want to take in
To where your longing
Has pressed hard enough
Inward, on some unsaid dark,
To create a crystal of insight
You could not have known
You needed
To illuminate
Your way.

When you travel,
A new silence
Goes with you,
And if you listen,
You will hear
What your heart would
Love to say.

A journey can become a sacred thing:
Make sure, before you go,
To take the time
To bless your going forth,
To free your heart of ballast
So that the compass of your soul
Might direct you toward
The territories of spirit
Where you will discover
More of your hidden life,
And the urgencies
That deserve to claim you.

May you travel in an awakened way,
Gathered wisely into your inner ground;
That you may not waste the invitations
Which wait along the way to transform you.

May you travel safely, arrive refreshed,
And live your time away to its fullest;
Return home more enriched, and free
To balance the gift of days which call you.

–John O’Donohue