He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.
- Revelation 21:4
Hi all. Charlene here again.
This verse has been a comfort to me for most of my adult life. I mentioned before that I was a multiple trauma survivor. Now, I can’t say that I’ve suffered more than most, nor would I ever want to say such a thing. Life is hard, and pain is pain, suffering is suffering.
TRIGGER WARNING: suicidal thoughts, domestic violence, illness, eating disorders, death of loved ones. Please, if these are issues that will hurt you, stop reading, and, if you don’t already know someone, find someone - professional or personal - to help you process through your pain. Mental health is just as crucial - maybe more crucial - than physical health, and there is no shame in looking for help.
It’s a long story, so here are the lowlights. I lost my father to cancer at the age of 7. I was bullied for being a sad and angry child who didn’t know how to relate to others, and who ate their feelings. I had a drunken, abusive stepfather, and a lecherous, abusive stepbrother. I tried to run away from home in elementary school. I first tried to commit suicide in middle school. I was constantly hungry in high school. I was an abandoned youth at 16 (taken in by my friend’s parents for my senior year, God bless them).
I was molested at 17 (and 11, and 4). I was staying at friends’ houses and couch surfing by 18. I dropped out of college to work full time to cover rent and bills, then went back to school a year later at 19. My health started taking a turn for the worse when I was 20. When I was 21, I lost four loved ones to a car accident. A month later my aunt died. I was raped at 22. And on and on it went.
I had trust issues, an eating disorder, body dysmorphia, and an addiction to exercise. I fell into unhealthy relationships one after the other. I was seriously depressed. My life was a mess.
It wasn’t all darkness and sorrow by any means. Writing it out like this makes it sound like my life was nothing but pain, but that’s not true. I don’t want to give you the wrong impression. But let’s be honest - life was hard, and I didn’t always know if it was worth it. I definitely know that without hope for a better future, I wouldn’t have made it out of childhood.
Friend, there are so many better reasons to put your faith in God, but the hope that one day there would be no more tears, no more pain, was what convinced me to accept Jesus as my savior and brother and friend. Hope is a powerful motivator. And hope was what helped me to keep moving forward through the darkest times. To even experience moments of joy when my life was falling apart all around me.
I don’t know what your life has been like, whether it’s been full of ease or trouble. But I want to leave you with this thought: One day, there will be no more sorrow, no more pain. One day, we will be surrounded by love, and our lives will be full of peace and joy. One day, we will see God face to face - the source of all good, the reason for all happiness. One day.
